Many foster children have experienced significant trauma in their lives. In fact, it’s estimated that up to 90% of children in foster care have experienced a traumatic event. Unfortunately, these experiences can have lasting negative effects on a foster kid’s mental and emotional health, as well as their behavior and development. At Foster Plus, the majority of kids we work with have experienced trauma and disruption and need extra care to heal and grow from these experiences. For foster parents, providing this support and parenting a child with trauma can be incredibly challenging — but it can also be deeply rewarding.
Understanding the impact of trauma can unlock your ability to better support all of the strengths your foster kid possesses. In this blog, we’ll share resources and strategies to help you understand the trauma kids experiencing foster care might be facing and how you can show up well to support them and give them the love and care they need to thrive. We’ll discuss common forms of trauma, how trauma impacts child development, strategies for creating a healing environment and building trust, as well as helpful resources for further reading.
Understanding Trauma in Foster Children
Foster parents provide critical care and support to kids in need. But to fully understand the needs of your foster kid, you need to recognize and understand their experiences with trauma and how those experiences are impacting them. The first step toward gaining this understanding is familiarizing yourself with common sources of trauma and risk factors.
Physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and neglect are the most common sources of trauma among foster children. Foster kids who have been exposed to substance use, severe economic stress, and/or homelessness are more likely to have experienced maltreatment falling into one or more of these categories. Those who identify as LGBTQIA2S+ or have intellectual and developmental disabilities are also more likely to have encountered abuse and neglect.
In the next section, we’ll explore how these traumatic experiences can impact a foster kid’s behavior and development, both short-term and long-term.
The Impact of Trauma on Child Development
Trauma can affect anyone, but children are especially vulnerable because their brains and bodies are still developing, and they depend on adults for protection and support. When a child experiences trauma, their brain activates the stress response system, which prepares them to fight, flee, or freeze. This is a normal and adaptive reaction that helps them survive a dangerous situation. However, when the stress response system is activated too often or for too long, it can disrupt the brain’s normal development and affect the child’s behavior and functioning. Some of the effects of trauma on a child’s development include:
- Poor physical health: Trauma can impair the immune system, increase inflammation, and alter the hormonal balance. This can make the child more susceptible to illnesses, infections, and chronic diseases. Trauma can also affect the child’s appetite, sleep, and energy levels.
- Inappropriate emotional responses: Trauma can make the child more sensitive to emotional cues, such as facial expressions, tone of voice, and body language. This can make them more reactive, impulsive, or aggressive. Trauma can also make the child more prone to anxiety, depression, anger, guilt, shame, or low self-esteem.
- Impaired cognition: Trauma can affect the child’s memory, attention, concentration, and learning abilities. Trauma can also impair the child’s executive functions, such as planning, organizing, problem-solving, and decision-making. Trauma can also affect the child’s language and communication skills.
- Negative self-concept: Trauma can negatively affect a child’s sense of identity, belonging, and worth by making a child feel insecure, distrustful, or isolated. Trauma can also stunt a child’s self-regulation, meaning their ability to control their emotions, impulses, and behaviors.
One of the most challenging aspects of parenting a foster kid who has experienced trauma is understanding their developmental age, which refers to the level of skills and abilities that a child has acquired physically, cognitively, socially, and emotionally. If your foster kid has experienced trauma, it is likely that trauma has created a gap between their biological and developmental age, meaning that they may act younger or older than their actual age.
For example, a 10-year-old foster kid who has experienced trauma may act like a 6-year-old in some situations, such as throwing tantrums or having difficulty with schoolwork. When this gap goes unaddressed, it can be frustrating for both the foster parent and the foster kid, leading to unrealistic expectations on behalf of the foster parent and feeling misunderstood on behalf of the foster kid.
Foster parents should also be aware of the potential long-term consequences of trauma. Research such as the CDC-Kaiser ACE Study shows that childhood trauma can increase the risk of experiencing various physical and mental health problems as an adult, including heart disease, cancer, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Research also shows that childhood trauma is linked to poor educational and occupational outcomes, such as dropping out of school, unemployment, and criminal involvement.
But it’s important to remember that these long-term consequences are not inevitable. As a foster parent, you have the power to make a positive difference in your foster kid’s life. By providing a nurturing environment, you can help your foster kid heal from their trauma and develop the skills and resilience they need to lead healthy, productive lives.
Strategies for Foster Parents
There’s no one-size-fits-all way to help your foster kid heal from trauma, but here are some strategies we recommend to foster parents.
Ensure your foster kid feels safe.
Doing everything you can to make your foster kid feel safe is perhaps the most important thing you can do to help them heal. Make sure your home is a safe and comfortable place where your foster kid can relax and express themselves. Respect your foster kid’s personal space and avoid yelling, which can trigger retraumatization.
Set a predictable routine.
A predictable routine can help your foster kid feel more secure and in control of their life. Try to establish and maintain a consistent schedule for meals, bedtime, school, and activities. Be flexible and adaptable when necessary, and explain any changes or transitions in advance.
Establish clear boundaries.
Clear boundaries can help your foster kid learn appropriate behavior and respect for authority. Be consistent on what is acceptable and unacceptable, and explain the reasons why. Be firm but fair, and avoid harsh or abusive discipline that can be triggering. Instead of criticizing your foster kid, focus on their strengths and potential.
Foster secure attachment.
Secure attachment is the emotional bond that develops between a child and their caregiver, providing the child with a sense of security, trust, and love. Foster kids who have experienced trauma are unlikely to have developed secure attachment styles, which can hold them back from healthy relationships. To foster secure attachment, you can use techniques such as being responsive to your foster kid’s needs, showing interest in their daily life, spending quality time, and giving positive reinforcement and praise to motivate your foster kid and build their confidence.
Use therapeutic parenting strategies.
Therapeutic parenting is a type of parenting that is tailored to the needs of children who have experienced trauma. It involves understanding how trauma affects your foster kid’s behavior and development, using this knowledge to guide your parenting decisions, and providing your foster kid with the emotional and psychological support they need to heal from their trauma. For example, you can help your foster kid process their trauma by listening to their experiences, validating their feelings, and reframing their beliefs.
Take care to learn your foster kid’s triggers, which are reminders of trauma that can cause your foster kid to experience intense emotional and physical reactions, such as panic attacks or dissociation. Triggers can be anything that resembles or reminds your foster kid of their trauma, including people, places, and situations. When potential triggers cannot be avoided, prepare your foster kid for what may be triggering and have a plan to help them mitigate their trauma reactions. For example, if your foster kid is triggered by medical appointments, you can explain to them what will happen and who will be there. Bring a comfort object, like a stuffed animal, to help them feel safe, and use relaxation techniques, such as breathing exercises, to help them calm down.
When your foster kid has been triggered, take time to help them process their feelings and understand why they reacted the way they did. Work with them to identify what could help in future triggering situations, and praise them for their courage.
Promote emotional regulation.
Emotional regulation is the ability to manage and express emotions in appropriate, healthy ways. Emotional regulation can help your foster kid cope with their trauma reactions, reduce their stress, and improve their mood. To help your foster kid develop emotional regulation, teach them how to identify different emotions, emphasizing that emotions are normal and natural.
Lead by example and show your foster kid healthy ways of managing and expressing different emotions by modeling emotional regulation. For example, you can say, “I’m feeling frustrated because traffic is bad, but I’m taking deep breaths to calm myself down.” You can also encourage your foster kid to express their emotions in healthy ways through activities that promote self-expression, such as music, or activities that let them release their emotions, like sports.
How and when to seek professional help.
If your foster kid is not responding to any of these strategies, they may need therapy or counseling to support their healing journey. Professional help can provide your foster kid with specialized assessment, diagnosis, treatment, and support that can help them overcome their trauma and improve their well-being.
Some signs that your foster kid may need professional help include:
- Their trauma reactions are severe, frequent, or persistent and interfere with their daily life.
- They show signs of mental health problems or suicidal thoughts or behaviors.
- They engage in risky or harmful behaviors, such as substance abuse.
There are different types of therapy that can help your foster kid heal from their trauma, depending on their needs. Here are a few of the most common forms of trauma therapy:
- Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (TF-CBT): TF-CBT is a type of therapy that helps your foster kid understand and change their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that are related to their trauma. TF-CBT involves teaching your foster kid coping skills and helping them process their trauma by creating a trauma narrative, challenging their negative beliefs, and enhancing their positive self-image.
- Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR): A recommended treatment for PTSD, EMDR is a type of therapy that involves asking your foster kid to recall their trauma memories, while using eye movements, sounds, or taps to stimulate both sides of their brain. EMDR can help your foster kid reduce the emotional and physical distress associated with their trauma memories by replacing them with more positive and adaptive thoughts and feelings.
- Attachment, regulation, and competency (ARC): ARC is a therapy framework that focuses on helping your foster kid develop three core components: attachment, which helps your foster kid form healthy relationships; regulation, which helps your foster kid manage and express their emotions; and competency, which helps your foster kid build their self-esteem.
- Play therapy: Often recommended for children between the ages of 3 and twelve, play therapy is just what it sounds like. Play therapy relies on “play” as your foster kid’s natural medium of expression to help them express their feelings, develop communication skills, and control unwanted behaviors.
If you think your foster kid may need professional help, you can ask your Foster Plus partner agency, social worker, or pediatrician for a referral to a qualified mental health professional.
Resources for Further Reading
Childhood trauma and how to help your foster kid to overcome it are hugely complex topics. If you want to read more, here are some books we recommend from certified experts and thought leaders:
- Multiple books by Dr. Ross Greene
- The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel Van der Kolk
- I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t) by Brene Brown
- Raising Kids With Big, Baffling Behaviors by Robyn Gobbel
There are also plenty of online resources to help you understand and address your foster kid’s trauma. These are a few we recommend:
- ChildTrauma Academy
- Think:Kids – Collaborative Problem Solving®
- Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development
- For even more resources, check out our FAQ page.
Trauma Doesn’t Need to Define Your Foster Kid
Foster kids have faced so much, but having a safe, supportive, loving home can be life-changing. As a foster parent, you can be that life-changing presence. We hope that this blog has given you a deeper understanding of childhood trauma, how it could be impacting your foster kid, and what you can do to help your foster kid heal. And remember, when you work with a Foster Plus partner agency, you’re never alone. If you have any questions about this blog or are in need of support, please reach out to us.
