Foster parents are entrusted with a huge responsibility: offering stable, caring homes to children, teens, and young adults in need. It’s a responsibility that has the power to transform a kid’s life for the better, but it also requires some personal sacrifices.
At Foster Plus, we understand the added strain foster parents can feel day to day. We also know that too often, foster parents are inclined to brush their own needs to the side in order to place sole focus on the needs of those in their care. However, to bring your best to your foster kids, you need to take care of yourself.
That’s why we’ve put together this list of self-care tips and coping strategies for foster parents. Whether you’re a current or future foster parent, we hope this guide will empower you to care for yourself as you navigate your foster parent journey.
Tip #1: Start Therapy if You’re Not Already Going
Therapy provides foster parents a safe space to process and address the complicated emotions that can surface while fostering a child. Seeing a therapist can be especially beneficial for foster parents with personal histories of trauma. Many foster kids have experienced forms of abuse and neglect and will need extra care and support as they heal and grow. For foster parents with trauma in their own backgrounds, providing this support can be particularly difficult as a foster kid’s trauma and associated behaviors may be triggering.
Remember, you need to put on your own oxygen mask first before you can help others with theirs.
Tip #2: Be Prepared to Give Love Without Receiving It
Unfortunately, traumatic childhood experiences mean that many foster kids are not emotionally equipped to show love or appreciation to their foster parents. This can understandably leave foster parents feeling unfulfilled. Do your best to remember that creating a safe and stable home for a foster kid means being ready to give unconditional love and support. You’re here for them, not the other way around.
Still, we all need to feel loved and appreciated. When your foster kid is unable to fulfill that need, lean on the people in your life who can. Reach out to your family and friends, and tell them you need some encouragement and support. This is also an area where you can lean on your Foster Plus support team.
Tip #3: Evaluate Your Routines
For future foster parents, it should go without saying that bringing a foster kid into your home will also bring lots of changes. The best way to cushion the impact of this disruption to your daily life is by evaluating your family’s routines ahead of time. Consider what about your current routines is most important to you and your family and how a foster kid might change things. What steps can you take now to adjust your life in order to be ready?
As you get used to new routines, be kind to yourself if you experience discomfort or things don’t go as planned. Set aside time to reflect as a family on what’s working and what isn’t, and be open to making additional adjustments to help reduce stress and make it easier to adapt to changes.
Tip #4: Prioritize One-On-One Time With Your Partner
The responsibilities, changes, and added stress brought on by fostering a child can take a toll on your relationship with your partner if you’re not mindful. Be intentional about setting aside time and space to connect as a couple. During this one-on-one time, practice active listening, embrace vulnerability, and do your best to show appreciation and empathy. This will help you support one another’s emotional needs and ensure you’re both bringing your best selves to your foster kid.
Dedicated time together will also help you maintain open and healthy communication, safeguarding your relationship against unwarranted conflicts, anxieties, and misunderstandings — all while better positioning you to work together to resolve warranted challenges in a healthy manner.
Tip #5: Take Advantage of Relief Care
All foster parents need — and deserve! — an opportunity to rest and recharge. That’s why Foster Plus offers relief care. Relief care lets full-time foster parents take time off when they need it by placing foster kids in the temporary care of relief parents for a day or two at a time. Our relief parents are trained and certified, so you can rest assured that your foster kid will be supported and taken care of while you get the time and space you need.
We’re Here for You
When fostering gets hard, never forget that everything you do to provide love, care, safety, and support to your foster kid will have a lasting impact. We are moved every day by the sacrifice, empathy, and selflessness displayed by our foster parents, and we are committed to supporting them in every way possible. If you are a current or future foster parent in need of support, please reach out to us. We’re here to help you, every step of the way.
